Cheating Spouse? Avoid these Mistakes

While your instincts are powerful,
it is by no means conclusive

So leaving or separating with your partner should not be your first move, but a last resort. If you feel that your spouse is having an affair, you will be in a position to gather much better clues and evidence of them being unfaithful than if you are apart because of a hasty decision on your part.

Do not spread the word based on your suspicions

While it is natural and perfectly understandable that you want to get your heavy thoughts off your chest, and confide in friends and family, you should do so with caution. There are two reasons for this. One is that you need to make sure that the person you choose to confide in will not gossip in any way and spread the word, and may be ultimately lead to your spouse knowing. Secondly, it is not uncommon that your cheating spouse is involved with the very friend that you are confiding in. Hard, I know - but it happens all the time.

Don't pretend to be ignorant

As traumatic and emotionally draining it is to find you are living with a cheating spouse, pretending to ignore it and go into denial is the worst thing you can do. It is probably the most harmful way to deal with the difficult situation. When you choose to ignore your partners' infidelity, you are giving the impression of a silent approval. Your spouse will start to feel comfortable with continuing the secret relationship.

Wasting your time on the other person

This is a huge mistake, and all too common. This is especially true when a woman feels her husband is cheating on her. The desire to know more about the other person is overwhelming for some, and stems from an uncontrollable anger. Repeatedly questioning your spouse about the other person, and dragging them into every situation and conversation will only make him closer to her. Belittling and confronting or threatening the lover to back off from your husband or wife, will only them defensive and closer together.

The sanity of mind is in the proof

Last but not least, is the biggest mistake you must avoid when you think your spouse is cheating on you, is to confront him or her without any real proof of their cheating ways. Without having any real evidence, confronting your partner will result in a continual cycle of hurt, suspicions and betrayal.

The important thing to remember
is to keep yourself calm

Despite facing the adversity and suspicions of a cheating spouse, as the only way forward is to find the proof followed by a well thought out decision on whether you will leave your partner or choose to rebuild your marriage and relationship.

Kevin A. Hooks
Director of Investigations

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